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Top 3 Excuses I have for not Blogging Lately


It has been far too long, I know. I am not about to make excuses for not having written in so long... oh wait, yes I am. I think it's important for me to be able to express the issues, both interior and exterior, that caused me to procrastinate, to hesitate. I'm sure we all face the same issues. I hope we all face them... I'm not just weird am I?

So let's break my writer's block down into three main camps. Three areas in and around my life that allowed me to wimp out and not write content for close to a month.

I should preface this list by acknowledging that just because I can innumerate causes, that doesn't mean they're valid reasons for delaying my duties as a blogger. They're crap excuses. But even lame rationalizations come from sincere fears, so I would hope that you can appreciate the difficulties I've been facing in my life. Perhaps that empathy might allow you to scan for the patterns in your own life. I can't believe we're all that different.

Family Pressures

My dad died just over a month ago after a rather extended battle with lung cancer, and having just celebrated his 93rd birthday. That event was of course sad, and quite difficult to watch him slowly fade away. But it was a truly beautiful death, and in the whole scheme of things, I was very lucky to have known him. Mom is still alive, and at 92, lives alone now right across the street. What became almost instantly obvious is that Dad was hiding a lot of Mom's health issues from us. Her health is not good, her memory is fading fast, and she is right at the border of being able to live on her own. She should probably move into a nursing home, but with the pandemic, that doesn't seem like a very good solution either. I got her on Hospice, and hired a woman to sit with her during the day. However, during evenings, nights and weekends, I'm all she's got. I have to say, taking care of Mom is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And what's worse, is I know it will only get harder.

So what's the problem? Mom sleeps close to 20 hours a day, so I have plenty of time to blog. But fighting the depression, dealing with closing down Dad's estate, and dealing with the daily issues around Mom's care has drained me completely.

Covid 19

The pandemic requires me to be extra vigilant, not only because I have some high risk medical conditions personally, but also because I have to worry about what I bring home to Mom. The social distancing, and closures have almost completely stopped our business. And though we were fortunate enough to get one of the government grants, we have effectively no business income, and nothing in the pipeline were this to all go away tomorrow. Things look pretty dire when we stop and look at the numbers, so we don't do that very often.

Again, what's the problem? It would make perfect sense that If I were to continue to build an audience, and expand my online content through blogging and vlogging, I might be able to parlay some of that to alternative, passive income down the line. I should be rushing toward this new income stream, not ignoring it.

Fear of Haters

About the time I started to skip publishing content, I had an interesting experience. Someone I respect and admire made a casual suggestion that I should change the way I was creating content online. In a delicate way, he remarked that audiences tend to want to listen to people who were experts, at least those who know more than they do. He mentioned that I presented myself too much as a librarian, a researcher. I needed to be more commanding and not so vulnerable. Golly, there goes my whole shtick!

While I know what he said is true, and while I don't believe he was trying to put me down, it made me question the whole premise of my content. I was hoping to be the fellow traveler on the road to running a creative business. I'm not an expert... at least not yet. I'm no guru, and I'm not the kind of person who can pretend to be something I'm not. I think more than the other obstacles, this was the most paralyzing of the three.

But now I'm back. Not because Mom is better, and I'm through grieving Dad's passing, and certainly not because the pandemic has passed and the business is solvent. I'm not back because I've gained new qualifications and certifications that make me more expert in my views. I'm back because someone I met quoted a scriptwriter from Los Angeles who said something like: "Just keep on giving them you, until it's you they want."

The lightbulb lit, the clouds parted, and I remembered what I should never have forgotten. I can only be myself, and do the best I can do. There isn't an audience on earth that wouldn't smell a phony, and pretending to be something I'm not wouldn't fulfill me at all. I always suspected that all of the answers to life's problems could be found in Hollywood.

Now, where were we?

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